Excerpts from a 12 year old's English textbook

You know you're learning the real-deal English when...

1) Your textbook includes a lesson on text message abbreviations, including, but not limited to, "BOYF, ILUVU & RUOK?"

2) The middle of your textbook includes a passage entitled "The Vikings Liked Music".

3) Even better yet, your "past simple, negative, questions and short answers" grammar lesson 6 is based on the scene "Did you kiss her?" featuring Steve and Rosie. To elaborate for the sake of juicy english textbook gossip:

Rosie: Did you put your arm around Sara?

Steve: No I didn't! I helped her with the quiz machine, that's all.

Rosie: And did you kiss her?

Steve: No of course I didn't! She had something in her eye and I...

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(Yeah, ok Steve. We all know you just didn't have the balls.)
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4) On top of grammar lesson 6, grammar lesson 8 allows you to "talk about possessions and ask about prices" with the enlightening dialog between Sara and Anne, "Has he got a girlfriend?":

Sara: Can you help me? I want to buy a present for Steve.

Anne: For Steve? Why?

Sara: I like him a lot- he's fun.

...(Sara and Anne browse through CDs. Sara settles on Love Songs from Mexico)...

Anne: Let's see, Love Songs from Mexico. Hmm. What's Steve's girlfriend going to say?

Sara: Girlfriend?? Has he got a girlfriend??!

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En fin, the only colorful lessons my Spanish textbooks ever gave me were those accompanied by photos of pure 80s fashion in it's golden age. Or, of course, the more "modern" 1990s video series adventure of untamed fro-ed and brace-faced Jamie pursuing the legend of her Mexican bisabueeeela, La Catrina. (And if you weren't a high school Spanish student, I apologize for the complete lack of nostalgia this short blurb has failed to instill.)

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